Relationship Redflags That Must Be Looked Out For !
We have all been in love and sadly most of us do not get the perfect fairy tale ending. The person once we were so in love with, saw our future with and imagined a life all together was not meant for us. Takes a whole lot of time to get over the memories and move on. But does the heart break come unnoticed? Does it happen all of a sudden? Well.. maybe yeah, but mostly no. When we look back on our relationship there would be several things or your ex’s habits/characteristics that pointed out that this was not meant to forever and you were so in love that you ignored it? Here’s what to look for to save yourself the heartache.
- NAME CALLING !
Which relationship does not have fights? They say more the love, more the fights.
It is healthy for a couple to fight and have arguments, it is normal for your partner to get angry and shout at you but imagine your partner calls you ‘stupid’ or he says things that really break your heart?
Imagine your partner abuses with words that cannot be taken back? And in the end he/she comes and tells you it was your fault to make them angry and they were just mere words that came out from their mouth and that they didn’t mean a word they uttered.
This typically indicates a lack of respect from one or both parties. This is a major relationship red flag, especially if you haven’t been dating that long.
- IGNORING YOU
When two people are in love, it does not mean that they have to stick together all the time. They are individuals first and they have their own lives and that is completely okay.
But have you ever felt that it is you who makes all the dinner plans, movie plans? Do you feel that if you stop taking effort to make the other person happy then you would end up losing them? Do you end up pacifying them every time even when it is yo who needs a little pampering too? Do you always end up texting first after a fight, after days of not talking? Do you ever see them always engrossed on their phone even when you two are together and they pay no attention or heed to you?
Then your significant other has crossed the line and you should not have to deal with this, a relationship is of two people who put in equal efforts to make sure thing work. Not one person doing everything and feeling empty in return.
- LACK OF TRUST
When a person has difficulty being honest with himself or herself, it may be hard for them to be honest with you. Some of this behavior may not be calculated and malicious but simply a learned way or habit of coping. However, being out-and-out lied to is a no-brainer. A person who holds himself or herself unaccountable for their actions lacks integrity and lacks respect for their partner. You may feel, and rightly so, that there are a lot of “missing pieces,” so much that you don’t know or that is purposely hidden from you.
You can live a person who doesn’t pamper you or make you feel like a princess or a king but it is impossible to live with a person who lacks the trust in you. Everything you do, they would be suspicious and that will be a hard thing to live with!!
- CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR
Someone who loves you truly will let you be the person you are and not change a thing about you unless of course it is a bad trait. But some people mistake having control over someone to be love. You cannot boss around your partner and let them feel like they are your puppets.
Some people use the method of ‘divide and conquer’, here they will try to create a rift between your family, friends and you.
They would feel like they want to have you only for themselves which is wrong and is not right. This person cannot tell you what to do or what to do. Right from the clothes you wear to the food you eat, your significant other has to have their say. This is a huge red flag and in this process you are bound to lose yourself. This will never make you happy.
They may be jealous of your ongoing relationships with these people or simply feel the need to control where you go and who you associate with, limiting your world to allow in only what is important to them. Sometimes, they may make you choose them over significant others as an expression of “love.”
- FEELING INSECURE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
You are never supposed to feel like “does he or she actually love me”, yes words of affirmation from your partner are fine but what have they done to make you feel loved, secured and happy? Words are nothing if actions do not follow.
You may often feel that you don’t know where you stand in a relationship. Rather than moving forward, building on shared experiences that should be strengthening your connection, you feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or anxious about where the it’s heading.
This are a few red flags that are to be looked out for, but hey! everyone has their own weakness, just because your partner was rude to you once or has told you that was controlling or has lied to you once does not mean that they are a bad person.. Love is to love the other person despite their flaws. Fights happen, arguments happen but what does your partner do after the fight? Look at their actions and make sure you are happy being with them.
Love is supposed to feel easy, love is supposed to make you feel light and free. Love is freedom. A person who is meant for you need to be the best looking or have the latest car or a big house, but they will make you feel like life is worth it, it is worth it to wake up to their face every morning.