LOVE ! One word yet two people can share this love in so many different forms depending on the relationship that exists between them. Love can be of parental nature, love can exist between siblings or cousins, love can be between two friends or love can be between a man and a woman. That is the exactly the topic of interest in this blog.
Love is that one feeling that can make a person happiest or the saddest. Love has that power. Regardless if one wants to have a successful relationship it is very important to choose the correct partner. This partner could be the person you are going to end up with. Could be the person you are going to marry, This person is going to be either the father/mother of your future child. One cannot overlook how important it is o choose the correct life partner. The right man would fly across the world just to see you, say hello instead of saying goodbye. The right person person coming to you at the right time can change your life drastically, can make you change everything that you ever believed was true.
When a person is asked this questions : “What qualities do you want in your partner?” People assume that to be an easy question and go about saying common qualities like good looks, intelligence, sense of humor, kindness or reliable. Are these qualities enough for a person to posses? But sadly we end with people who do not really match the criteria we set. Why is that so ? One of the major reasons is, we do not always want what we say we want. Yes, you may think you need to buy new clothes but that might not be the case. You may be bored of your daily work wear or you would just want a change in your wardrobe or you may simply be in the mood to shop! It is something similar with the partner we choose.
The laws of attraction aren’t always fair. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What does this mean ? Well.. we have all had a past, had a person in our life that hurt us and was just plain toxic. We are familiar with that, we are familiar with those traits. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships. We choose partners who fit in with destructive patterns, not because we enjoy them, but because they’re familiar.
When looking for a partner we must make sure that we do not make the same mistake again of choosing someone with the same behavioral patterns exhibited by our former partners like controlling nature, disrespectful, jealous or emotionally unreliable. Could be anything that is toxic for another human to handle. We must make sure we break this chain. We must take a leap of faith and be with people who are good for our mind, body and soul.
Although it is not possible to judge a person in one meet, being with them for a few days/weeks. There are certain universal traits you might want to look for in a relationship partner that will ensure a happier outcome. Here are a few qualities one should look for in a partner.
1.HONESTY
It is very important to be with a person who is honest, who doesn’t lie. Deception is always frowned upon but people tend to lie in a relationship thinking it will help their relationship survive longer and it is better. But studies show that lying less is the key to a happier and long term relationship. Once a person starts to lie they have to keep doing it in order to hide the lies. No relationship can thrive for a long term as the truth is going to resurface one day or the order. Be alert, look into their lying pattern and make sure you don’t get lied to.
2. A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR
Life is a roller coaster ride, nothing in life is easy. Right from paying off house loans, car loans. Quitting job. Moving cities. There will be downs in life, there will be hard times. It is important to have someone by your side who makes these times better, LIGHTER. Someone who knows to bring down the tension. Make hard times easier to handle. Make you smile after you have had a really bad crying session.
3.RESPECTFUL
There will be times in life when you will have to choose between being loved and being respected. Always pick being respected, that love without respect was always fleeting. But that respect could grow into REAL, lasting love. When you find someone who encourages you to be yourself, you can feel secure in your relationship, yet independent within yourself. That is the person for you. Love should be easy, made to feel effortless. And it must never make you question your self worth. Yes, there would be fights, but your partner must never disrespect you regardless how heated the argument gets. Remember once they get used to disrespecting you, they feel it is okay to do it again and again. Nip the disrespect at the bud.
4.NO GAME PLAYING
When it comes to choosing a serious partner who’s going to be there forever, you should be past the games of who texted first and wondering if they actually like you. The right person will put their cards on the table, even if it means risking getting hurt.
5.RELIABLE
A good partner must never make you question everything. If they would show up to the concert you got tickets for? Will they show up to your cousin’s wedding? They should never leave you where you stand, never leave you hanging. Little things matter, like getting you food when you have mentioned about being hungry, getting you your favorite white flowers, small gifts of appreciation, remembering your dog’s birthday. These are very small things but when someone special does this, it is the most special feeling in the world.
6. BEING ABLE TO FORGIVE AND FORGET
Love isn’t all about kissing, cuddling and spooning – you’ll have arguments, too. But knowing how to come back from them and make up with each other is just as important as trying not to get into them in the first place. If you had done a mistake a few weeks ago, that issue must be solved then and there. If your partner claims to say it is okay and claims to forgive your mistake but brings it up months later again and again, that means they haven’t gotten that issue out of their mind and it still bothers and pricks them. Mistakes happen, we all are merely human. But people who truly love you, forgive you. Take your apologies seriously.
These are just basic things that one person must look for in their partner, apart from the emotional maturity, being open, romantic are all important things one must posses. But none of us are perfect, we cannot expect one person to suddenly appear with all these characteristics and woo us or sweep us of our feet.
Love just happens, love should be made to feel effortless, love should be made to feel easy. That is why we must always meet people before we start dating them. That is why Blind Meet encourages the age old practice of meeting people first then deciding to stay in touch or not.
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Light yet fullfilling read. Good.
One must be careful choosing one's partner, it may make u or break u.
they also are the parent to your child