A Friend Is Someone Who Gives You Freedom To Be Yourself
Friends are the family we get to choose. But don’t expect too much from them..
Imagine you are going through a tough break up, or you have no idea what to do with your career now, or you are so confused what to wear to your cousin’s wedding! Who do you go approach first – to either rant or ask for ‘expert’ opinion? It is obviously your friend. Not only this, they are the first people we ever go share our happiest news to too! Got a new job! Got a new date! Friends get to hear it from us.. Heck! That is why we have friends. Isn’t it weird? How we choose random beings and decide to get so vulnerable with them by sharing our deepest darkest secrets to our family histories to our crushes. They are our walking-talking human diaries.
Not just that, friends also help us grow at a spiritual level. Each soul is on a journey. Friends are guides who come into our lives, play their roles and move on. Don’t we all have friends who we were very close to at one point, but with whom we are no longer in touch with now ?
Time changes, situation change and people also do, but friendship that two people share remains the same. Even if you call your friend years later, the bond you two share is ALWAYS still the same!!
Of course friends are important, they are a vital part and a piece of our life, but these people who we consider to be our friend must support us, tell us when we go wrong, help us make good decisions for ourselves and most importantly let us be ourselves.
But not every person we call/consider us our friend is good for us, they may be a good person in general but this person may be toxic.
Have you ever found yourself questioning yourself why you are friends with this person. Why every time you go out with this person you always end up calling for trouble, every night out with this person doesn’t make you feel good about the time spent. You are constantly afraid to tell them something that they may not like or have an argument in the fear that they might spill out your personal secrets to other? Well.. here is some bad news you here are not in good company.
Here are a few traits of toxic friends
Toxic friends are those who just drain the energy out of you ! You just feel emotionally SO exhausted after being with them, they make you feel bad about being who you are and try to make you do things their way.
- Emotional Exhaustion
You just feel drained, out of energy and out of place after being wit them for sometime. You just feel like going out and getting some fresh breath of air after spending just minutes with this person. You have to keep re-assuring yourself that you are doing fine and time will just pass and you can go back home and not spend any more time with this person.
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships. Good friends can apologize for their part in such arguments or other clashes. If anything goes wrong regardless of whose fault it is, you are made to fee that it is you who is at fault and everything went wrong because of you. And its is you who has to change their ways of doing stuff even when you are NOT at fault.
You always have this feeling of isolation, your friend makes you feel it is wrong to have other friends, it is wrong to hangout with other people. This person may even stand on your way when you are trying to find you partner. NO, this is NOT jealousy. This toxic person wants to keep you to themselves. It might be they hate the idea of you turning your attention elsewhere at any times.Sometimes, you may not even notice this isolating influence until suddenly you realize that other friends, or even family, have drifted away.
- Feeling Humiliated
Gentle teasing is part of many good friendships, but being shamed in public is another story.If your friend makes fun of you in social settings, tells cruel jokes at your expense, or claims that you “just don’t have a sense of humor” then they’re being abusive.If you explain this to your friend and the behavior still doesn’t change, this person is not good for you. Healthy friendships should be about having your back and speaking well of you. This is a big red flag. No person, not even family can make you feel bad about yourself.
They disclose secrets confined to them which destroys the trust you put in them. You are constantly scared to argue or say something that you think might offend them.. just because you have a fear that they might go tell the world your secrets.
They are very Gossipy
If you friend always have ‘news’ about everyone and gossips about their friends to you, there are high chances that they chatter behind your back and spread rumors about you. Their gossip is like a whirlwind, and it destroys your reputation in a short period.
These people are always unhappy and complaining about life no matter how rich they are, how nice of a family they have, a good secured job, a good partner. They are always dissatisfied, complaining, discontent and misery are their companions.
Remember a true friend, is a person who is good for your body, mind and soul. They let you be who you are, proud about having a friend like you. Helps you get through hard times, takes care of you like a mother when you are sick. Stand up for you when you are being bullied or going through hard times.
Tell you when you are doing something wrong in life. Keep you secrets locked up safe. No matter how bad things get or how bad of a fight you two have, you know this person can be trusted and they will never leave by your side.